Saturday, March 19, 2005

The moral always throws you curve balls.

It is amazing how quickly your life can turn upside down. I was aware that is was coming, but by the time it arrived, I wasn't really prepared for it.

I was planning on starting my nanny job a few days ago and expected to commute from Topeka until James had found a job. It worked out that James ended up starting a new job the same day.

James had interviewed to work as a manager of an apartment complex in North Kansas City and was waiting to hear back. He finally heard back and after his third meeting with the owner, he was left in charge the following day to begin figuring things out. There is very little orginaization so most of the "figuring out" has been developing systems to run the business smoothly.

I love the family I am working for. I think we are all warming up to each other nicely but it still feels akward for me at times. I tend to make myself at home very quickly and I am begining to think that that can be good and bad.

To top it all off, they have been very generous and very helpful with our difficulties getting back on our feet. While I know they aren't making judgements against me, it is hard for me to ask for help when I need it but I have been asking for help since they began offering it. I think the biggest thing that has been bothering me is that James and I are down to one car now so I borrow theirs often. I don't want them to feel like I am trying to mooch off of them. I just want to help them out and be a good influence to their children. James and I will be back on our feet again shortly and hopefully we will find another car for cheap. (Galen, if you loved me, you would give me my car back...just kidding!)

Any new relationship takes some getting used to, I guess. The whole family is great so I know that eventually I will begin to feel more at home with them.

We are also homeless. While we have my parents' house in Topeka, the apartment of James' boss in KC, James' uncle in Overland Park, and I have the option to stay the night in Leavenworth after work if I want to, it's not quite good enough. It all is wonderful and we are so greatful for everyone that has helped us out. We are very greatful to have a roof above our heads each night. So don't take this the wrong way. I was just thinking about how we don't really live anywhere. We often use the word "home" to refer the place we are going to. It is so odd. We came "home" today to Topeka to use the computer, do laundry, and say hi to my family that we got so used to having around.

I got very used to seeing my dad everyday. While I saw everyone in my family almost daily, my dad, whom I haver always been very close to, was home all during the day with us while we were there. (It was so we wouldn't get in trouble I am sure!) Now, I haven't even talked to my dad in about 48 hours. It is really strange.

I have felt, for about the past week, that I have been walking around in a dream. I never got to say "goodbye" to anyone but I haven't really left because most of my stuff still lives at my parents' house.

I don't even know if any of this is making sense. It's hard to put into words the way I am feeling. IT'S JUST PLAIN WEIRD!

I know that there are only a few constant readers of my blog but now would be a good time to hear from you all. I need as many constants in my life right now so my head doesn't fall off. Especially, from my WWR friends...I haven't had my fix in a while! :)(Give Jim and Esther a hello from Bekah and James the Guru) If you can find the time, please leave me a comments or email me at

This sounds like I am advertising but I'm not.(Ok, maybe I am...but just a little) If you are a podcast listener, be on the look out for upcoming podcasts, I know they are going to be interesting with all the drama James is seeing at the apartments. Not to mention all the changes we have had recently. You can find those at

We don't have internet at the current place we "live" so be patient if we can't spit them out very often!


PS. Leave me a fun, cheery message at 206-339-4545!

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I do and do and do for you and this is the thanks I get! :-) Love, Mommy