Thursday, March 24, 2005

I'm in a bad mood.

I am still trying to settle into a new schedule. My immune system seemed to shut down this week as well, prabably from all the changes. I've had horrible allergies and as soon as I started feeling better I got a bad UTI. It hurts and it is making me cranky. So I am going to take my crankiness out on whoever is reading this.

The people I work for are really cool and I enjoy when they are around. I think I just take things to personally. I just want to be a good addition to their childrens' lives. It makes it hard to do my job when they don't let me. It's all so new and fresh that I know I just have to give it time.

No disrespect to the guy I work for, but it bummed me out that he came home so early and didn't let me go home to get some rest. I feel so drained today. I don't mind him coming home early so he can get stuff done around the house but this week it has been hard to establish boundries with his older kid because he steps in and lets him do things I wouldn't necessarily do. Or jumps in to tell him he isn't acting right.

I am trustworthy and responsible. I will be relieved when they figure that out!

It's rainy and gross outside today. And so is my attitude. Why is it that I never write when happy things are going on? I'll write something cheery next time.

Ok, here is another reason I think I am so bummed. I miss my family. A lot. I am super home sick. I've been away from my family before so I don't think missing them is all of it. I was so sick yesterday and I wanted to go "home" so badly but when I got there there was nothing to go "home" to. James was just as tired as I was and begining to not feel well. There was someone elses couch, someone elses, beds, someone elses stuff. I miss having a home. I can't wait to get settled again and have some normality in my life again.

Ok, one last thing. I miss James. We were together everyday, all day for so long and now I never see him. He tries to act like he is not exhausted from work but he is. We just vedge out on the couch and vent about our day at work. And then we go to bed. I see him for 2 or 3 hours before I go to bed. We really need to get our finances straitened out so we can work together for our own company. WE work so well together. It bums me out that I can't be with him as often any more.

That's enough of that. I'm feeling better now. I hope you're not bummed out after reading this! Come back and I will right happy things next time. Promise!


No comments: