Thursday, July 28, 2011

to work or not to work?


what i want more than anything in the world is to be with my son. i have waited a long time to be with him and to be a mother. i have been well trained through my work as a waldorf teacher and a nanny. i'm good at what i do and i am so exciting to be applying what i know to my time with ollie.

since embarking on my journey into motherhood, i've learned so much from the other mothers. i've heard countless stories of the struggles women have regarding their choices to either return to work or stay home with their child(ren). many women are heartbroken and guilt ridden as they leave their six week old baby in the arms of someone else while they return to work. but they feel like they don't have any other choice.

all a baby needs is the love and warmth of their mother. it is my hope to prove that going back to a job isn't the only choice. but i'm really struggling and i can empathize with that choice as i try to figure it out all out for myself.

as ollie's only parent, i try to arrange how can i be his main care provider and provide for us financially. so far, i've only been able to figure out how to survive off very little and to ask for help (something i am not very good at).

as the money swindles down to almost nothing, and with very little work on the horizon, i'm honestly panicked and question if i've made the right choice. i've started applying for "real" jobs. i justify it thinking that if he's in a waldorf daycare then at least he'll be given more of what i want for him and more than i can provide for him on my own. and i truly believe that, but i also think i am the very best person for him to spend his days with at this point.

i'm worn down today emotionally. but i know it will work out. in the meantime, i'm trying to keep myself centered and have faith.

Sunday, July 10, 2011

no cell phone update

july 5, 2011 about 5pm, i am driving to dinner with friends in kansas city when i realize the transfer from at&t to google voice is complete and i have no cell phone. it's a huge relief. it's really nice just to be present with the people i am with and not have to worry about my phone ringing.

the next day, i use the landline where i am housitting to check in with a few people, like my mom. an email from the person that calls and texts the most says, "i don't know about this no phone thing ha ha." she wants to tell me a story and for a moment she feels like i'm not available. we've talked a lot since then. the change hasn't really effected us that greatly, in my opinion.

at this point, it has only been about three days. i've spent some money getting all this set up but i still feel like it's minimal compared to the cost of a cell phone. the first step was to pay google $20 to transfer my number.

google voice assumes i still have a phone of some sort, so i had trouble calling out. i'm sure there is probably a way around that but i haven't figure it out yet. my solution, $8.50 to skype to call anywhere in the US over the next three months (the plan i chose is 2.99/month with a 5% discount for paying for three months at a time). not only can i now call out from my computer but i can also call out using skype on my iphone when it's connected to the internet.

when i call from skype, it showed up as "unknown." i prepaid an additional $10 for skype credit so they could charge me $.23 to send a text message confirming my google voice number, which should now show up on the caller id when i call from skype.

i feel like everything is set up well for me to communicate as i would with a cell phone. so far, so good!

Wednesday, July 06, 2011

the family plan; "no cell phone" challenge

my latest project; the "no cell phone" challenge!

it all began when my dad announced that on july 4, 2011, he'd be taking back his independence. like many people, i am on a family plan. it's the cheapest way to have a cell phone and phone companies making it easy to add additional lines at a low cost. what parent wouldn't spend an extra $10 or $20/month to keep in contact with their child? dad loves helping us out and always will when he has the opportunity. but there is no reason for him to still be paying for his 25 and 29 year old children every month.

in this new chapter with ollie, i operate on very little money and $30-50/month for a cell phone is not worth it to me. i am giving more value to living an abundant life and having great adventures with oliver. (and let's be honest here...i need that money to feed my serious coffee addiction)

it is my hope that by not having a cell phone, i will become a more efficient communicator and i will spend more quality time with the people i love. i have transferred my number to google voice which gives me a lot of different options to staying connected with people. i have an iphone which will now function as an ipod. when connected to a wireless network, i will be able to access my email (which will now include google voice). i feel that it won't be that difficult to stay connected to people. there are wireless networks everywhere these days. in addition, there is also skype, which i can use on my computer and iphone.

since cell phones can make 911 calls without cell phone service, i have even less need to worry. everybody has an old cell phone lying around. i figure i can keep a charged cell phone in the car or my diaper bag for true emergencies.

my service just got cut off last night but already i feel great about it. i'm excited to see what challenges come up. i'm just going to figure it out as i go!