Wednesday, March 30, 2005

Meet Joe

Today I startes writing about some of the characters introduced into my novel, or my life, this past week. I am confident that eventually there will be a book out of all of these adventures I've gone through. I just have to write more!

Let me introduce to Joe.

A fair skinned man stops us in the hallway. Age 72, he has been struggling all day to unzip the zipper of his anciant military wind jacket. He has waited for James to come by to ask for his help. James struggles with it for a while until finally it breaks unexpectedly. Although he is told the zipper broke, he doesn't notice. He appreciates the company he has now trapped from going upstairs.

Joe speaks of a former tenant who scammed him out of 400 bucks. Every conversation with Joe brings the retelling of the con artist.

Joe has lost so much faith in the world he lives in. Having lost his wife to cancer many years ago, he speaks as if death is knocking on his door every minute. He looks as if he has given up on showering, his white, this hair slicked back with grease.

Joe sits in his car, watching people as they come and go. He never drives his car, rather he walks to pick up the things he needs. The walk is exhausting for him which gives him something else to complain about. His car might not even work he explains. He doesn't care. He says he is too old to drive.

Discussing a recent school shooting he says, "If I was healthy, Id never think of that."

While you look at him and want to reach out to help him, he makes it clear that it is necessary to keep your distance for you own safety. Although, I offer to pick him up groceries on my way home from work. He may never except the offer since he doesn't trust anyone.

Tune in again and I will introduce you to the others as their characters become clearer!


Tuesday, March 29, 2005

The moral is...don't judge a book by it's cover.

This weekend we started cleaning our apartment just to find that when you left the cabinets open there was an overwhelming smell of curry! Not that I have anything against curry, I would just prefer it in moderation.

So, we went looking for a new apartment. Not thinking we would find anything, we actually found another two bedroom over the office that doesn't need quite as much work. And it doesn't smell like curry!

Yesterday brought many suprises at the apartments. A lot of people were out and about and there were many oppurtunities to talk and have a good laugh. Most of the people you stop and talk to won't let you leave the conversation without a good laugh. The area has it's con's like with any neighborhood but it is so vibrant and alive which makes it fun just being there.

I'm sure after the summer when violence is at it's worst, I might not be saying the same thing but right now I love it. People support each other and look after one another. We've joined a community that is a lot of fun. And better yet, I think most of the people we have met really like us.

I guess it is kind of racist to think like this but I think part of me thought we wouldn't fit in, like we were different. Nope. There's not that much that makes us different. We're all broke and trying to get by.

What I love even more is that most people make light of how crappy their lives are instead of being depressed about it.

It's really a neat place and I hope my family and friends won't hesitate to come visit us. Just don't forget your gun when you come...Just kidding!


Thursday, March 24, 2005

I'm in a bad mood.

I am still trying to settle into a new schedule. My immune system seemed to shut down this week as well, prabably from all the changes. I've had horrible allergies and as soon as I started feeling better I got a bad UTI. It hurts and it is making me cranky. So I am going to take my crankiness out on whoever is reading this.

The people I work for are really cool and I enjoy when they are around. I think I just take things to personally. I just want to be a good addition to their childrens' lives. It makes it hard to do my job when they don't let me. It's all so new and fresh that I know I just have to give it time.

No disrespect to the guy I work for, but it bummed me out that he came home so early and didn't let me go home to get some rest. I feel so drained today. I don't mind him coming home early so he can get stuff done around the house but this week it has been hard to establish boundries with his older kid because he steps in and lets him do things I wouldn't necessarily do. Or jumps in to tell him he isn't acting right.

I am trustworthy and responsible. I will be relieved when they figure that out!

It's rainy and gross outside today. And so is my attitude. Why is it that I never write when happy things are going on? I'll write something cheery next time.

Ok, here is another reason I think I am so bummed. I miss my family. A lot. I am super home sick. I've been away from my family before so I don't think missing them is all of it. I was so sick yesterday and I wanted to go "home" so badly but when I got there there was nothing to go "home" to. James was just as tired as I was and begining to not feel well. There was someone elses couch, someone elses, beds, someone elses stuff. I miss having a home. I can't wait to get settled again and have some normality in my life again.

Ok, one last thing. I miss James. We were together everyday, all day for so long and now I never see him. He tries to act like he is not exhausted from work but he is. We just vedge out on the couch and vent about our day at work. And then we go to bed. I see him for 2 or 3 hours before I go to bed. We really need to get our finances straitened out so we can work together for our own company. WE work so well together. It bums me out that I can't be with him as often any more.

That's enough of that. I'm feeling better now. I hope you're not bummed out after reading this! Come back and I will right happy things next time. Promise!


Saturday, March 19, 2005

The moral always throws you curve balls.

It is amazing how quickly your life can turn upside down. I was aware that is was coming, but by the time it arrived, I wasn't really prepared for it.

I was planning on starting my nanny job a few days ago and expected to commute from Topeka until James had found a job. It worked out that James ended up starting a new job the same day.

James had interviewed to work as a manager of an apartment complex in North Kansas City and was waiting to hear back. He finally heard back and after his third meeting with the owner, he was left in charge the following day to begin figuring things out. There is very little orginaization so most of the "figuring out" has been developing systems to run the business smoothly.

I love the family I am working for. I think we are all warming up to each other nicely but it still feels akward for me at times. I tend to make myself at home very quickly and I am begining to think that that can be good and bad.

To top it all off, they have been very generous and very helpful with our difficulties getting back on our feet. While I know they aren't making judgements against me, it is hard for me to ask for help when I need it but I have been asking for help since they began offering it. I think the biggest thing that has been bothering me is that James and I are down to one car now so I borrow theirs often. I don't want them to feel like I am trying to mooch off of them. I just want to help them out and be a good influence to their children. James and I will be back on our feet again shortly and hopefully we will find another car for cheap. (Galen, if you loved me, you would give me my car back...just kidding!)

Any new relationship takes some getting used to, I guess. The whole family is great so I know that eventually I will begin to feel more at home with them.

We are also homeless. While we have my parents' house in Topeka, the apartment of James' boss in KC, James' uncle in Overland Park, and I have the option to stay the night in Leavenworth after work if I want to, it's not quite good enough. It all is wonderful and we are so greatful for everyone that has helped us out. We are very greatful to have a roof above our heads each night. So don't take this the wrong way. I was just thinking about how we don't really live anywhere. We often use the word "home" to refer the place we are going to. It is so odd. We came "home" today to Topeka to use the computer, do laundry, and say hi to my family that we got so used to having around.

I got very used to seeing my dad everyday. While I saw everyone in my family almost daily, my dad, whom I haver always been very close to, was home all during the day with us while we were there. (It was so we wouldn't get in trouble I am sure!) Now, I haven't even talked to my dad in about 48 hours. It is really strange.

I have felt, for about the past week, that I have been walking around in a dream. I never got to say "goodbye" to anyone but I haven't really left because most of my stuff still lives at my parents' house.

I don't even know if any of this is making sense. It's hard to put into words the way I am feeling. IT'S JUST PLAIN WEIRD!

I know that there are only a few constant readers of my blog but now would be a good time to hear from you all. I need as many constants in my life right now so my head doesn't fall off. Especially, from my WWR friends...I haven't had my fix in a while! :)(Give Jim and Esther a hello from Bekah and James the Guru) If you can find the time, please leave me a comments or email me at

This sounds like I am advertising but I'm not.(Ok, maybe I am...but just a little) If you are a podcast listener, be on the look out for upcoming podcasts, I know they are going to be interesting with all the drama James is seeing at the apartments. Not to mention all the changes we have had recently. You can find those at

We don't have internet at the current place we "live" so be patient if we can't spit them out very often!


PS. Leave me a fun, cheery message at 206-339-4545!

Wednesday, March 02, 2005

Letter to Sara

I found my friend who is away at college who I have not seen or spoke to in a few years. She wants to know what she has missed since my wedding. This letter is to her. I hope she doesn't mind that I posted this publicly but I thought it would be easier to illustrate things for her. Plus, I would imagine it might be interesting for others to read it as well.


Sorry it has taken me so long to get back to you. I wanted to make sure I have time to write more than a sentence or two. I don't know where to start. You want me to start at the honeymoon...oooo...I should just start writing a book right now. I'll try and add illustrations!

There was the wedding of course. The honeymoon in Alaska was amazing. We were sick most of the time, therefore not getting to hike as much as we would have liked. I think the stress from the wedding finally got to us and beat our immune system into the ground.It rained the whole time were there, making it hard to stay dry. My favorite meal of the honeymoon was Salmon cooked on the fire. We were camping in another town when James met a man who had just gotten back from a fishing trip. He offered James a generous amount of salmon steaks. It was awesome! We wouldn't mind moving there eventually. We were sad to have to leave!

This is unrelated but we have made "friends" with a couple in Alaska. They broadcast 24 hr indie folk music from their cabin in Talkeetna, Alasks. I love to tune in whenever I am working on stuff. I love them. They are great people. If you get a chance, you should check it out. Whole Wheat Radio

We continued living in our apartment with our dog, Xander, who learned to open doors and cabinets. We lost hundreds of dollars in new groceries until we figured out how to tie the fridge and cabinets closed!

Before our wedding we took a trip to Chicago. I wanted so badly to tranfer to Columbia and James wanted to work for a coffee company. We took the trip so we could take a tour of the college and have job interviews. The school was nothing to get excited about, especially when considering the HUGE difference in price. I still would have loved it but the job stuff fell through and we didn't want to try and plan the wedding from Chicago. Chicago 1. Chicago 2. Chicago 3.

James quit working for PTs and started an espresso euipment repair business. It was doing quite well until...well...the things we do for love.

After my senior year of college, I was tired and burnt out. I had the honor of doing a show over the summer with the Karen Hastings Players. I think the story goes as follows. Phil Grecian asked Jo Huseman who he should ask to play the roles of the young couple in his play. She said, he had to had Greg Krumins and I. So Phil called me up and asked me to do the show. While I was so excited not to have to audition, I didn't say yes right away. I asked to read a script. The script revealed that I would have to kiss Greg. James and I had mixed feelings about is, since he was my ex-boyfriend. I expressed my concern to Phil and he said he would work with me to make sure I was comfortable. During Toby Saves the Farm, I met my good friend, Chris Waugh (his son went to school with us). He put me in touch with Ric Averill, who cast James and I in a children's theatre show that inspired this blog. James quickly bonded with other members of the cast!

We began the Aesop's Fables tour in September, leaving James' business behind. Here I am showing off our new costumes to my parents. The assembly we performed was about 45min of Aesop's Fables that kept all ages, including adults, captivated and laughing. Although we liked to perform on a gymnasium floor, we often got put on the stage. We were distanced from the kids and they didn't react as well to the show since we were so far away.

The most exciting stuff has happened more recently. Due to the show, James discovered he had a hernia that had been laying dormant for a while. Every show he did made the hernia worse and worse until he couldn't stand it anymore. At one point, we were waitng "backstage" to perform, the kids were seated for our third show of the day and I thought I was going to have to cancel the show and take James to the hospital.James is a tough cookie. He got demanded we do the show. It was shortly after that, that we decided to see a doctor who told us that it was potentially life threatening. We knew it was something that needed to be taken care of immediately.

We started living with my parents and we are still here! We have had no income for over a month now. We went from spending hundreds of dollars a day on food, hotel and gas to having no money for food, shelte or gas. Thank god for my family...well OUR families and friends. We will definetly be more greatful for the money we have once we start working again.

So, James had his surgery on Mardi Gras and now he is doing great. Ouch! But at least he got beads, which he earned! He was well taken care of! Three more weeks and he can return back to most activities.

Currently, I just got a job as a Nanny for a great family in Leavenworth. James is waiting to hear about a potential job in North Kansas City. Soon enough, we should be back on our feet and enjoying our PRIVACY again! Here is our "bedroom!" And our bedroom again!
At least we aren't in the dining room like we used to be!

Hannah was nominated for Homecoming. We were on the road then so we missed it. I didn't miss, however, Galen's nomination for Royalty of courts. He loves us, he really does!

Galen is a really cool guy. He never seems embarrassed to hang out with James and I although, he doesn't invite us to tag along much and we can't afford to invite him out right now! Despite the picture, I know he loves me! We have been going to the gym together at night which I love! We don't spend the whole time at the gym together but I treasure those few minutes in the car or at the gym that he talks with me!

Hannah doesn't have much time for me anymore which really bums me out. She does a million things and keeps her grades up. She does cheerleading, babysitting, works as a host at Texas Roadhouse and everything in between.

I want to make sure you get a good idea of what you're missing!
This is what they do when dad tries to talk to them!
This is from winter semi-formal!

Alright! I think that is enough for now. While I am sure there is much more that I missed, I sure it can be saved for a nice discussion over coffee. Let me know when you will be in town! I hope you don't mind that I shared this letter with the world! I'll keep sending you letter via email!


Tuesday, March 01, 2005

The moral someone in need.

Here are a few messages I have recieved concerning Mary Travers. Please help cheer her up. Start making calls and sending e-mails!Thanks for your help.

As you might know, Mary Travers of Peter Paul & Mary is in
the hospital gearing up for a bone marrow transplant (six
matches were found!) -- she will be hospitalized for at
least the next six weeks. I have set up an address where you
and your listeners can send Mary 'get well' wishes -- I will
print them out once a week and send them over (she cannot
have visitors, so this is a way to help keep her
entertained). In case you don't know, Mary is very funny,
sarcastic, loves a good joke -- so if you know any good
jokes, I'm sure she'd get a kick out of them. Over the years
PP&M have proven to be one of the most enduring folk groups
that talks the talk AND walks the walk, supporting good
causes and doing countless benefits, so here's a chance for
us to help support her during a difficult time. The address
is Thanks so much --

Christine Lavin

A message from Whole Wheat Radio:

You can call (907)733-2934 anytime in the next day or two
and leave a telephone message that I'll make sure gets to
her via Christine on CD. I'll collect it all and send it off
to Christine who will then deliver it to Mary.

Let's see if we can't give something warm and fuzzy back to
this woman who helped pave the way for the music we hear
today on WWR. Thanks!