Sorry!

I think my days of on line journaling is about to be over. What the fuck is a blog supposed to be for? (Yeah, I use fowl language...A LOT...so if I do keep writing, you can expect to hear/see more of it.) If you chose to read my blog, you chose to take me and except me for all of who I am. Thank god my mom and dad do! But I can't stand continually hurting people's feelings because I say what is on my mind at that MOMENT. It's a moment and by me getting it out in the open it makes it easier for me to deal with. I get to caught up in the negative stuff and I try and get it out so I can move on and be happy. This public writing isn't working out to well for me. I try to sensor things to make sure I don't hurt anyone's feelings but no matter how vague I keep things, I end up hurting someone's feelings. Someone always wants to know if I meant them. My mom always told me not to write things down if I didn't want people to read it. The paper journal has worked out for me pretty well so far, and I am ok with someone, someday after I die, reading what I wrote. I've fucked up. I've done things I'm not proud of...and I have written about so I can get over it so it doesn't take over my life and bog me down.

Maybe tomorrow I will have something to say about all of this but for now I am sad and upset and TIRED. I am SO tired I can't even stand it.