I am over being in shock. I am done crying for now. I still think about it every day and wonder how we are going to get through this. I wish I could tell you what "this" is but it's not time yet. Not enough is known to be able to talk about it. There are a million thoughts going through my head wondering my this had to happen to me, to us. You always think, it will never happen to you. It exsists in a world that doesn't belong to you until it actually happens. Please send good thoughts and prayer in my direction. And if you see someone in my family, give them a big hug! They might not admit it but they need it. I need it.
Today, I am up but when I was down I felt so incredibly alone. I don't have many friends and usually I am ok with that but where was the shoulder to cry on when I needed it. I had no where to go and no one to turn to. People always say they are there for you until... I don't want to always have to tell someone that I need them. I don't want to have to hunt them down to say, "Please can I have a hug, life just kicked me in the ass."
We're moving soon, probably to Lawrence, if my parents don't want to take us in again (only kidding). Maybe my Topeka friends will find that the drive is easier for them and will want to be around me again. They always say, "Distance makes the heart grow fonder." Let me tell you, that isn't always the case.