The world is starting to wake up and I wish they wouldn't. I have been enjoying the gentle noise of the rain and the thunder which have dissapeared and been replaced by car doors, voices, cars driving on the wet street.
Here's some raw words from my journal this morning.
they'll think i'm crazy for waking up "too" early. it will be unclear to them, the beauty i have seen this a.m. as the sun shines, the rain falls and the thunder boomers argue over what i'll see next. there is happiness here in my solitude. silence filled with thoughs to put a smile on my face and make the bad times easier. sheltered from the rain, i find it soothing to listen and look out the window at the new day. there are no time limits i have to meet, no expectations wearing me down. i can just be...
it's magic outside. everything is moving. there is so much life and movement right now as the rest of the house is dreaming the day away. and they won't understand why i don't want to miss this.
As I sat there writing I could see the family in the building across from us moving their belongings. We call them "The Refugees," a name given to them before we ever got her. And that is what they are, refugees from Africa. Catholic Charities wants to move in another family soon. Which is ok now that this other family is leaving because they can use the same destroyed apartment. They use a certain spice that kind of smells like curry that you can smell a mile away. The other guy that works here tells a story about going into their apartment to fix their fridge(that they didn't know was broken) and their was half of a bloody head in the sink. He said it was too small to be a horse and too big to be a dog. He still doesn't have a clue what kind of meat they ha for dinner that night.
Here is some of what I wrote about them.
and they too don't understand. those people outside my window. and i don't understand them. i wish i could. maybe that's what makes them so appealing. the fact that i don't understand why they sit in a circle and eat rice off the carpet. she smiles amd waves at me, like i am someone she knows as i wave to her to say hello. i wonder if she is relieved to see a language she knows: a simple hello. if i knew more than hello i might ask the why they eat off the carpet. why they have colorful drapes hanging from every inch of their home. why they came here and what they were trying to escape from. why the bathtub is used for washing dishes and dumping leftover rice.