Wednesday, July 27, 2005

Random thoughts

As I showered, I considered what I may tell my daughter some day about shaving her legs. I shave mine because it is a learned habit. I started shaving the day I started my period in the 6th 9r 7th grade and I thought it was a HUGE deal. I looked foward to it because I liked the way my mom's legs looked; shiny, smooth, dark and defined. Perfect legs. Now, I like the way MY legs look shaved. And sadly, it's not just my legs...I shave quite a few other places people never see, including my armpits.

So back to what I would tell my daughter. I would want her, even at a young age to think about why(or why not) she wants to do something. After thinking about why, whether I agree or not, I would probably let her. I just don't think people think about why they do things. People ,too quickly, fall into doing what everyone else does to fulfill the need of fitting in and being excepted.

Then I thought, the human race is pretty creative. It comes across as daring, exotic, and special to be an artist. NO! Artists just have the drive and the passion to do what they do. I think their drive is what seperates them from the rest of us.

If people aren't naturally artistic, why is there such a demand for people to be fashionable, wear make-up have nice hair styles and haircuts, drive fancy cars, have nice houses (inside and out). There is evidence of of art EVERYWHERE.

My new boss, Diana, thinks she isn't artistic. I hear that too often from people and it drives me crazy. Again there is evidence of art in her life everywhere. Ahe doesn't think she's artistic?!?!?!? She drew me the coolest drawing of sesame street characters the other day. Even I, someone who considers themself artistic, wouldn't have taken the time to paint something that was well in a simple art project with a young child.

painting1 painting2


Sunday, July 03, 2005

The world is starting to wake up and I wish they wouldn't. I have been enjoying the gentle noise of the rain and the thunder which have dissapeared and been replaced by car doors, voices, cars driving on the wet street.

After the Rain

Here's some raw words from my journal this morning.

they'll think i'm crazy for waking up "too" early. it will be unclear to them, the beauty i have seen this a.m. as the sun shines, the rain falls and the thunder boomers argue over what i'll see next. there is happiness here in my solitude. silence filled with thoughs to put a smile on my face and make the bad times easier. sheltered from the rain, i find it soothing to listen and look out the window at the new day. there are no time limits i have to meet, no expectations wearing me down. i can just be...
it's magic outside. everything is moving. there is so much life and movement right now as the rest of the house is dreaming the day away. and they won't understand why i don't want to miss this.

As I sat there writing I could see the family in the building across from us moving their belongings. We call them "The Refugees," a name given to them before we ever got her. And that is what they are, refugees from Africa. Catholic Charities wants to move in another family soon. Which is ok now that this other family is leaving because they can use the same destroyed apartment. They use a certain spice that kind of smells like curry that you can smell a mile away. The other guy that works here tells a story about going into their apartment to fix their fridge(that they didn't know was broken) and their was half of a bloody head in the sink. He said it was too small to be a horse and too big to be a dog. He still doesn't have a clue what kind of meat they ha for dinner that night.

Here is some of what I wrote about them.

and they too don't understand. those people outside my window. and i don't understand them. i wish i could. maybe that's what makes them so appealing. the fact that i don't understand why they sit in a circle and eat rice off the carpet. she smiles amd waves at me, like i am someone she knows as i wave to her to say hello. i wonder if she is relieved to see a language she knows: a simple hello. if i knew more than hello i might ask the why they eat off the carpet. why they have colorful drapes hanging from every inch of their home. why they came here and what they were trying to escape from. why the bathtub is used for washing dishes and dumping leftover rice.